


The Talk

by moongirl24



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2012-11-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 01:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moongirl24/pseuds/moongirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt is back in Lima and wants to talk to Blaine. Is there still a chance for them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt to fix things after 4x04. Written for Cotton Candy Bingo and the prompt Reunited.

_I’m not sure why I feel the need to tell you this, but I thought you should know that I’ll be in Lima this weekend. So now you do._

Blaine just stared at the text message, finding it hard to believe that this was real. This was the first he had heard from Kurt ever since that horrible weekend in New York. There had been no response to the countless texts Blaine had sent, no response to the flowers he’d had delivered, no answer to his calls. Nothing. Until now.

His heart was hammering in his chest as he read the text message again and again. Kurt had sent this to him. Kurt thought about him. Still. After a month of no communication, during which Blaine had been panicking more and more with each passing day, thinking that Kurt would never speak to him again, there was finally _something_. It was just a text, but after a month of nothing, a month of sleepless nights and endless days, this was everything.

He had to wait a few minutes before he was able to form a reply, his hands were too shaky. When he finally started to type, he rewrote his text several times before he sent it. In the end he settled for something short and neutral.  

_Thank you for telling me. Can I see you while you’re here?_

He paced the floor of his bedroom nervously while he waited for the reply, but fortunately he didn’t have to wait very long. The answering text made his phone vibrate on his desk just a few minutes later.

_Yes. I think we should talk._

Talk. Kurt wanted to talk. Blaine had seen enough movies and TV-shows to know that that was rarely a good thing. “The talk” meant something serious, usually something bad. But on the other hand… how much worse could it get? He had cheated on Kurt, they hadn’t spoken for a month, and most likely they were already broken up (they hadn’t talked about that either, so Blaine didn’t know for sure, but he knew it was naïve of him to believe that they were still together). Things were pretty much as bad as they could get right now.

He sent a reply to Kurt.

_We probably should. I can’t wait to see you._

He didn’t receive any response to that, and it wasn’t long before he started to second-guess what he had written. _I can’t wait to see you._ He had been too forward, hadn’t he? Too… optimistic, maybe. Kurt probably didn’t like that. Especially if he came here to tell Blaine that they were over for good.

Blaine groaned and hid his face in his hands for a moment. But it wasn’t much he could do about it now. Instead he went to bed, preparing himself for another sleepless night.

 

\----

 

They discussed when and where they were going to meet up, and Blaine didn’t want to push, so when the weekend came he was anxiously waiting for word from Kurt. But Kurt showing up at his door early on Saturday morning was not what he had expected.

“Hi!” Blaine exclaimed, flustered and completely unprepared. “You’re here.”

A small, amused smile was tugging on Kurt’s lips. “I am. Obviously you weren’t expecting me.”

Blaine quickly ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to make himself look a little more presentable. It wasn’t more than a few minutes since he got out of bed and he hadn’t had the chance to shower yet. “No, no, I was. I just… didn’t know when.”

Kurt moved back and forth on his feet. Blaine recognized it as one of Kurt’s nervous movements. “Well, can I come in? Or maybe I should come back later.”

“No, come in. Please.” Blaine motioned for Kurt to step through the door. The thought of Kurt leaving again now was kind of unbearable. He would just have to hope that his bleary appearance and the wrinkled t-shirt and sweat pants he was wearing didn’t scare Kurt away. It was, after all, not the first time Kurt had seen him like this, he thought to himself, but he quickly pushed the thought away again. Now was not the time to think about memories from their happier days. “We could go to my room?” he suggested instead.

Kurt hesitated for a second before he nodded. “Okay.”

Blaine was barely able to keep himself from taking Kurt’s hand and pull him up the stairs, like he had done so many times before. Instead he walked with the sound of Kurt’s footsteps right behind him. He did a quick mental check of his room, and decided that it looked relatively presentable. He was suddenly really glad that his mother had instilled the habit of always doing his bed first thing in the morning back when he was still pretty young.

Once they were in his room, Kurt took a moment to look around, almost as if he was seeing it for the first time, even though he had been there countless times before. He finally turned to Blaine. “You can go take a shower, if you’d like,” he offered, motioning towards the bathroom next door. “I can wait.”

It was tempting. Especially since he knew how much Kurt appreciated a nice appearance. Blaine bit his lip. “If you’re sure…”

“Of course. Go ahead. I must have practically dragged you out of bed.”

That wasn’t completely untrue, so he reluctantly left the room and hurried to the bathroom. He took a quick shower and was back in his room within fifteen minutes. Kurt was standing by his desk when he returned, looking at some of Blaine’s sheet music. At the sound of Blaine entering the room, he turned around, papers in hand. “For glee club?”

“Yeah,” Blaine nodded. “Sam and I are doing a song together this week.”

Kurt nodded slowly, almost wistfully. “You’ll be great. You always are.”

Silence.

“You look good,” Blaine finally said. It was true. Kurt looked incredible. Impeccably dressed, of course, his style for the day quite laid-back, at least for him. Denim jeans, a long sleeved white t-shirt and black vest, and a black blazer. A thin scarf was wrapped around his neck. His hair was, as always, styled to perfection.

He was still the most beautiful person Blaine had ever seen.

“Thank you,” Kurt said, with that tone in his voice that told Blaine that he knew very well how good he looked, but that he still appreciated the compliment. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Blaine looked down at the dark red pants and the simple white t-shirt he had put on, feeling immensely plain and boring next to Kurt’s fabulousness. Then again, Kurt Hummel was one of a kind. He was special. Anyone would be boring compared to him.

There was more silence, and it wasn’t that comfortable kind of silence, so Blaine quickly searched for something to say. “How is work?”

Kurt shrugged. “Fun. Busy. It’s good, mostly. But it doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of free time.”

“Yeah,” Blaine said, because he knew all about that. He didn’t want to blame Kurt for what had happened, but he couldn’t deny the fact that Kurt’s busy schedule had been a big part of the problem between them.

He sat down on his bed, and looked at Kurt across the room. Kurt, who was special and beautiful and the love of Blaine’s life. Why did he have to go and mess everything up so badly?

“I miss you,” he said quietly.

Kurt turned and looked at him. His eyes softened a little. “I miss you, too.”

“You do?” He hadn’t meant to sound so surprised, but the truth was that he was. He’d had no idea what Kurt thought of him. If he thought about him at all.

“Of course I do. Does that surprise you?”

Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess… I wasn’t sure. Not talking to you this past month… it’s been hard.”

Kurt looked down. “Yeah,” he said quietly.

Blaine shifted, and patted the bed next to him. “Do you want to sit down?” he asked softly. It just didn’t feel right to have Kurt all the way on the other side of the room.

Kurt looked up again, and for a moment he seemed a little conflicted, his eyes flickering between Blaine and the bed. But finally he walked over, and gingerly sat down next to Blaine, seemingly mindful to make sure there was some distance between them. It was a painful reminder of how much everything had changed. Just a few short months ago, they wouldn’t have hesitated to snuggle up together, with touches and hugs and kisses and sometimes a whole lot more. They had been so close. Now, the distance felt like a physical wall between them.

“How are you?” Kurt asked suddenly, so soft and quiet that it startled Blaine a little.

“Good,” he said, almost automatically. It was the standard reply always gave these days. Not that a whole lot of people really asked him that question. But Kurt arched his eyebrows, making it clear that he didn’t believe him. Blaine sighed. He had almost forgotten how well Kurt knew him. “Okay. I’m… not really doing all that great, I guess. I miss you all the time, I hate myself for messing everything up-”

Kurt interrupted him before he could finish. “No, don’t… don’t hate yourself. I don’t, so you shouldn’t either.”

“How can I not?” Blaine exclaimed. “You were the best thing in my life and I ruined it. I’m going to regret that until the day I die.”

Kurt was quiet for a while. He was playing with a button on his blazer. “You know, everybody keeps telling me to forget about you,” he said quietly. “That someone who would do… _that_ to me isn’t worth it. That I deserve better.”

Blaine cringed at little at his words, but he swallowed and nodded. “They’re probably right-”

“No!” Kurt interrupted again. He looked up at Blaine. “I mean… that’s the problem. Because you _are_ worth it. I know you are.”

“How can you still say that?”

The briefest of smiles flashed over Kurt’s face. “I don’t know. Even now, I just… I can’t seem to think differently about you.”

Blaine just stared at him. There was nothing but honesty on Kurt’s face and Blaine felt like crying. Even now, Kurt was so… _good_. How could he have been so stupid, risking all of this?

“I was so… angry at first, though,” Kurt continued quietly. “And even more than that, I was so… so _hurt_. I felt like everything I believed in had been a lie. Like I was dying inside. At first I never wanted to see you again. I never wanted to speak to you again. I even deleted your number from my phone.” He gave a humorless laugh. “Then I had to ask Rachel for it so I could add it back.”

“Why?” Blaine asked. He tried to understand where Kurt was going with this.

“I thought a lot. I tried to make some sense of it all. And… I guess I started to realize that what happened wasn’t entirely your fault.”

“Of course it was my fault,” Blaine protested. “I mean… I was in a bad place, and I guess that was because of you, but what I did… there’s no excuse for that.”

“Maybe. But I was the one who wasn’t there for you. You needed me and I failed you.”

Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He wasn’t sure, exactly, what he was going to say.

“I have been naïve,” Kurt continued, looking down at his hands. “I thought that now that I had a boyfriend, that was it. I was done, I didn’t have to work for it any longer. I took you for granted. I thought you’d always be there, and I didn’t realize how important it was to make an effort, to work on our relationship.” He smiled sadly. “I wasn’t a very good boyfriend to you.”

“That’s not true,” Blaine protested. “You were amazing. You _are_ amazing.”

Kurt smiled, one of his real smiles. “Well, yeah, of course,” he said matter-of-factly, and it made Blaine smile, too. “But I still let you down. And I’m sorry. I left it up to you to be the one to keep this relationship going, just like I’ve always done, to be honest… and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Okay,” Blaine said, letting out a soft breath. “I’m not saying that I completely agree, but okay. Apology accepted. That still doesn’t change what I did. I refuse to believe that you’re not still mad at me.”

“I am. Not as much as I was in the beginning, but… I still am. Mostly I’m just sad, though. I miss you a lot. You were always the one I talked to when things got bad and suddenly you weren’t there anymore.”

Blaine moved closer to him on the bed. “I’m so sorry, Kurt,” he said intently, hoping that Kurt would see how much he meant it. “I know I’ve said it before, but you have to know. I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I made a stupid, terrible mistake, and I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”

Kurt looked at him for a moment, and Blaine thought he could see tears in his eyes, but before he could make sure, Kurt looked down, and started to fidget with his hands. “You told me, in New York… that you didn’t go all the way with him. And I don’t want any details, but… I think I need to know what happened. With you and… him.”

Blaine hesitated. “Kurt, are you sure that’s a good idea…?”

“Yes,” Kurt said quickly and nodded. “I… I need to know. I keep picturing stuff in my head, and…” He shuddered and shook his head. “I have to know.”

“Okay.” Blaine took a deep breath. “Um…” He looked down. He wished he didn’t have to say this. “There was kissing. And, um… hands. Nothing more.”

“Okay.” Kurt visibly swallowed. “And it only happened once?”

“Yeah, of course. I realized what I’d done the second it was over, and I’ve never seen him again after that, nor do I plan to.”

Kurt nodded slowly. “And… did you like it? Was it… good?” He sounded like he had to force the words to come out of his mouth.

Blaine closed his eyes for a moment. How could he answer that without hurting Kurt even more? “It was… something that I thought I needed. You weren’t there, and I missed you so badly… and it just happened. Afterward I felt so empty. Just… hollow inside, in a way that I’ve never felt before. Because it was just… sex. Nothing more. And that’s not what I want.”

“What _do_ you want?” Kurt looked at him steadily.

“You, Kurt,” Blaine said without even having to think about it. “I want you. Always. I swear. He was nothing, just… a means to an end, and you are… you are everything. And I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I’ll never, ever do something like that again.”

Kurt nodded. “I believe you,” he said quietly.

“You do?”

“Yes.” He nodded again. “You’re not… you’re not _that_ guy. You’re a good guy, Blaine. I know you probably don’t believe me right now, but you are. And I’m not ready to give up on you.”

“You… you’re not?” His voice was barely a whisper now.

Kurt shook his head. “At the risk of making my friends think I’m crazy… no, I’m not. They… they don’t know you like I do. They don’t know how amazing you are.” He slid his hand into the pocket of his blazer. “You’re the guy who gave me this.” He showed something to Blaine, and Blaine gasped when he realized what it was.

The ring. The stupid gum wrapper ring he gave Kurt for Christmas. It was so silly, but at the time he thought it had been symbolic. He couldn’t believe Kurt still had it.

Kurt smiled fondly down at the ring in his hand. “When you gave me this and said those things to me… I thought it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. It told me so much about what kind of a guy you are. I felt so lucky to be with you.” He looked up at Blaine. “Do you remember what you promised me?”

Blaine did. It was not something he was going to forget, but right now it was just difficult to find the words. Luckily, Kurt answered the question himself. “You promised to love me. To defend me even if you knew I was wrong.” He gave Blaine a wry smile. “You promised to surprise me. To bake me cookies at least twice a year, and I think it’s my duty to inform you that you’ve only done it once so far, so you owe me. You promised to kiss me whenever and wherever I wanted.” He smiled again. “And to make sure I always remember that I’m perfectly imperfect, according to you, at least. I’m not sure I agree with you on that.” He smiled, but he quickly grew more serious, and hesitated for a moment before taking Blaine’s hand, making Blaine start at the touch. It was almost like a shock to the system, touching Kurt after not having done so for a whole month. His heart was beating really fast all of a sudden. “You promised to always pick up my call, no matter what you were doing. And you have. No matter when I called you, you were always there. I, on the other hand… wasn’t. I ignored your calls and called off our Skype dates, and told myself I was too busy when I should have made time for you.” He met Blaine’s gaze. “You made me those amazing promises, and you kept them. And that’s the guy that you are. That’s the guy that I want.”

Blaine swallowed. “So are you saying… that there might still be a chance for us?”

Kurt thought for a moment before he said anything. “I’m saying that… we have a long way to go. We need to figure out a way to make it work even when we’re far away from each other. And I think we need to learn how to trust each other again. But I’m willing to work on all those things. If… if you are.”

“I am,” he said quickly. “I am. Oh god.” He let out a strangled kind of sound that he didn’t even know how to describe, and pulled Kurt into his arms before he could even think. “I thought I’d lost you, Kurt. I thought I had ruined everything for good.”

“You almost did,” Kurt mumbled against his shoulder. “We both almost did.”

“I love you so much,” he whispered fiercely.

“I love you, too,” Kurt murmured, and his words were the most amazing thing that Blaine had ever heard. “But I didn’t fight for you. That’s going to change from now on.”

“I like the sound of that,” Blaine murmured, feeling so utterly relieved that he had to fight to keep the tears at bay.

“Just…” Kurt carefully pulled out of the embrace and looked at him. “Please don’t do anything like that again. _Please_. I can’t take it. I never want to share you with anyone.”

“I promise,” Blaine said with absolutely no hesitation. “Never again. I’m yours, Kurt. Forever, if you want me.”

“I might. Forever sounds kind of great.” There was a small smile on Kurt’s face now, and he looked about as relieved as Blaine felt, his shoulders and his whole appearance seemingly more relaxed than they had been all morning. He looked almost happy. It was affirmation to Blaine that Kurt really wanted this. He wanted them to be okay again, be _them_ again, just as much as Blaine did. And maybe they actually could be.

He almost jumped when Kurt’s soft, warm hand touched his face. His eyes flickered to meet Kurt’s warm, blue-greyish ones. “I’m sorry,” Kurt said, his voice quiet, soft, like the most beautiful music.

“I’m sorry, too,” Blaine whispered, moving his hand up to cover Kurt’s.

Kurt nodded once, almost imperceptibly. Then he moved in and kissed Blaine, softly and a little hesitant. Blaine was taken by surprise but he quickly got with the program and kissed Kurt back with everything he got, and everything he dared to give at this moment, when they were still on somewhat shaky ground and still needed time to figure out how to be together again.

All too soon it was over, and Kurt was pulling away. His eyes were really bright, though, and he was smiling, a hopeful smile, one that warmed Blaine all the way down to his toes.

“So,” Kurt said, laughing a little shakily. “What now?”

“Now?” Blaine thought for a second. “Are you free today?”

“Almost. I’m meeting Tina at four.”

“Great.” Blaine got to his feet and offered his hand to Kurt with a smile. “I thought I’d start on those cookies. You’re free to help me if you’d like.”

After just a moment Kurt took his hand. “Yes, I think I’d like that.”

The next couple of hours were spent making cookies in Blaine’s kitchen, and things almost felt normal again. It was just a small step, but it was a start. It was something.

 

\----

 

On Monday, during lunch, Blaine pulled his phone out of his pocket and wrote a text to Kurt. Kurt was flying back to New York today, and Blaine knew he was probably in the air right now. They had seen each other again the day before and said their goodbyes then, but Blaine was missing him already. It was like now, that they were getting back to a good place, it was even harder to be apart.

_I hope you land safely. Thank you for this weekend and for being amazing. Can’t wait to see you again._

He sent the text to Kurt and slipped his phone back into his pocket, not expecting a reply right away. And he didn’t get one either, not until a couple of hours had passed and Blaine was in his final class for the day.

_Back in New York. The trip was okay. I miss you._

Seeing Kurt write those words again felt so good that he couldn’t even describe it. He smiled to himself and quickly typed in another text.

_Miss you too. I love you._

The answer came just a minute later, and it made Blaine smile and clutch his phone to his chest, his eyes closing.

_I love you too._


End file.
